The term “collaborative” can be used in different ways, but true Collaborative divorce requires specialized training and an understanding of the Collaborative divorce process. Taking the time to find an attorney with the right experience can make a meaningful difference in how your case is handled.
This guide will help you understand:
- The specific credentials and training a Collaborative divorce lawyer should have
- Why general family law experience alone is not enough
- The value of membership in a Collaborative practice group
- Red flags to watch for when evaluating attorneys
- How to find the right fit for your family's situation
Christine Hissong at Positive Pathways is a Collaboratively trained family law attorney and active member of the Collaborative Professionals of Virginia. If you are beginning your search, this is a helpful place to start.
Credentials and Training That Matter
Finding the right Collaborative divorce attorney starts with understanding what qualifications to look for. The Collaborative Process is a specialized form of alternative dispute resolution, and it requires training that goes well beyond a standard law degree.
Here are the core credentials a qualified Collaborative divorce lawyer should have:
- Active bar membership in good standing within the jurisdiction where they practice. In Virginia, this means the attorney is licensed and authorized to handle divorce matters and other legal issues in the state.
- An active family law practice with substantial experience, ideally several years, handling cases involving child custody, child support, spousal support, property division, equitable distribution, and related practice areas.
- Completion of multi-disciplinary Collaborative training. This is a foundational requirement. Collaboratively trained attorneys complete a minimum of 14 to 16 hours of introductory Collaborative practice training led by a certified trainer. This training covers interest-based negotiation, working alongside mental health professionals and financial specialists, and the specific protocols that guide Collaborative cases.
- Additional mediation or conflict resolution training. The strongest Collaborative attorneys have also completed training in client-centered, facilitative conflict resolution. This kind of training deepens their ability to support open communication and creative solutions during the Collaborative divorce process.
- Ongoing Collaborative education. The legal process evolves, and so do best practices in Collaborative law. Look for an attorney who regularly participates in continuing education to stay current with developments under Virginia law, including the Uniform Collaborative Law Act, which has been in effect since July 2021.
These are not optional extras. They are the foundation of a well-prepared Collaborative divorce attorney who can guide you through the process with the care and skill your family deserves.
Why Family Law Experience Alone Is Not Enough
It is natural to assume that any experienced family lawyer can handle a Collaborative case. But the Collaborative process is fundamentally different from traditional litigation, and it requires a different set of skills, a different mindset, and a different way of working with everyone involved.
How Traditional Litigation Differs
In a contested divorce or court divorce, attorneys are trained to advocate aggressively for one side. The focus is on positioning, leveraging information, and preparing for trial. Common tactics include:
- Strategizing to gain every possible advantage for their client
- Using formal discovery to uncover weaknesses in the other party's position
- Taking advantage of mistakes made by one side
- Withholding or carefully controlling the flow of financial information
How the Collaborative Approach Differs
In a Collaborative case, the approach is the opposite. Collaborative attorneys work in good faith with each other to help both parties reach a fair settlement agreement. The process is built on:
- Full disclosure of all relevant information, including financial details
- Shared problem-solving rather than an adversarial strategy
- Open communication that keeps both parties informed and involved
- A commitment to finding solutions that serve everyone, not just one side
Why This Mindset Shift Matters
An attorney who has spent years in adversarial litigation may struggle to adapt to a process that requires transparency and cooperation. Without proper training, they may fall back on habits that undermine the very foundation of the Collaborative divorce process.
That is why specialized Collaborative training matters so much. It prepares attorneys to navigate sensitive conversations about child custody, spousal support, parenting plan details, asset division, and even complex financial information like retirement accounts and marital assets in a way that keeps both parties working together rather than pulling apart.
The Value of a Collaborative Practice Group
One of the most meaningful indicators of a committed Collaborative divorce lawyer is whether they belong to a Collaborative practice group. While membership is not a legal requirement, it offers real, tangible benefits that can directly impact the quality of your experience.
What a Practice Group Provides
Groups like the Collaborative Professionals of Virginia set higher standards for their members. These organizations provide:
- Access to continuous training beyond the introductory level, keeping attorneys and other Collaborative Professionals sharp and informed
- A network of trusted professionals, including financial experts, financial advisors, child specialists, divorce coaches, and mental health professionals who are all trained in the Collaborative model
- Peer accountability that encourages members to uphold the values and protocols of the Collaborative process consistently
Why This Benefits You
When your attorney is part of a practice group, they are connected to a broader community of professionals who share the same commitment to respectful, client-centered resolution. This makes it easier to assemble a strong, experienced Collaborative team when your case calls for additional support.
It also means your attorney has regular opportunities to refine their skills, discuss challenging scenarios with colleagues, and stay engaged with the evolving landscape of Collaborative divorce in Virginia. For families in Fairfax County and throughout Northern Virginia, this depth of connection and preparation can make a meaningful difference.
Christine Hissong is an active member of the Collaborative Professionals of Virginia and works alongside other experienced divorce attorneys and Collaborative Professionals in the region.
Signs an Attorney May Not Be the Right Fit
Not every attorney who describes their approach as "collaborative" has the training or experience to deliver on that promise. Here are some warning signs to watch for as you evaluate potential lawyers.
#1. They Lack Specific Collaborative Training
If an attorney cannot clearly describe their Collaborative training, including who trained them and how many hours they completed, that is a concern. Some lawyers use the word "collaborative" loosely to describe a cooperative style, but they have never completed the formal multi-disciplinary training required to handle a true Collaborative case.
Without this training, they may not understand the specific protocols, the role of the Collaborative participation agreement, or how to work effectively with a neutral third party, like a financial specialist or child specialist.
#2. They Do Not Incorporate a Collaborative Team When Appropriate
The Collaborative divorce process is built on a team-based model, but not every case requires the same level of support. A strong Collaborative attorney understands when to involve other professionals, such as divorce coaches, financial specialists, or child specialists, and how to integrate them effectively when needed.
#3. They Are Very Comfortable Switching to Litigation
One of the key safeguards of the Collaborative process is the disqualification provision. Under Virginia law and the Uniform Collaborative Law Act, if the Collaborative process ends and the matter moves to litigation, the Collaborative attorneys are generally unable to represent you in court for that same case. You would need to retain new counsel for court proceedings.
Because of this structure, Collaborative attorneys are typically focused on resolving matters outside of court. If an attorney suggests they can handle both the Collaborative process and any potential litigation, it may be worth asking additional questions to better understand their approach and experience with Collaborative law.
#4. They Focus on Winning Rather Than Resolving
Pay attention to how a potential attorney talks about the process. If the language leans toward "fighting for your rights" or "getting you the best deal," that mindset may not align with the principles of Collaborative law. The Collaborative approach is about finding solutions that serve the best interests of your entire family, not about one side winning at the expense of the other.
Finding the Right Fit for Your Family
Beyond credentials and training, the right Collaborative divorce lawyer is someone you feel comfortable working with during one of the most personal and emotionally challenging times of your life. Here are some practical steps to help you find the right match.
Start With an Initial Consultation
Most Collaborative divorce attorneys offer an initial consultation where you can ask questions, share relevant information about your situation, and get a sense of how the attorney approaches the work. This is your opportunity to evaluate not just their qualifications, but also how they communicate and whether you feel heard.
During a consultation at Positive Pathways, Christine Hissong takes the time to understand your circumstances, explain your options, and help you determine whether the Collaborative process, divorce mediation, or an out-of-court negotiation is the most appropriate path forward.
Ask the Right Questions
When meeting with a potential attorney, consider asking:
- How many Collaborative cases have you handled?
- What Collaborative training have you completed, and do you pursue continuing education?
- Are you a member of a Collaborative practice group?
- How do you approach situations involving minor children, military divorce, or complex financial matters like retirement accounts and real estate?
- Who are the other professionals you typically work with on a Collaborative team?
The answers will tell you a great deal about whether this attorney is genuinely prepared to guide you through the Collaborative divorce process.
Trust Your Instincts
The attorney-client relationship in a Collaborative case is different from a traditional legal engagement. You need someone who listens carefully, communicates with warmth and clarity, and genuinely believes in the process. If something feels off during your first conversation, it is worth exploring other options.
Choose the Right Collaborative Lawyer With Positive Pathways
The right Collaborative divorce attorney can be the difference between a process that protects your family and one that falls short. Taking the time to verify credentials, training, and genuine commitment to the Collaborative Process is one of the most important steps you can take.
Here are the key takeaways:
- Look for an attorney who has completed formal multi-disciplinary Collaborative training, not just general family law experience
- Verify that they are licensed, in good standing, and actively practicing Collaborative law
- Membership in a Collaborative practice group signals higher standards and stronger professional connections
- Be cautious of attorneys who use the word "collaborative" without the training to back it up
- Ask about their experience with Collaborative cases, their team of professionals, and their approach to sensitive matters like child visitation, prenuptial agreements, and separation agreements
- A strong attorney-client relationship built on trust is essential to achieving a faster resolution and avoiding an unnecessary court battle
Christine Hissong, recognized by Best Lawyers, is a Collaboratively trained family law attorney who works directly with every client at Positive Pathways. If you are looking for thoughtful legal advice and a Collaborative divorce lawyer who genuinely understands this process, reach out at 703-239-3212 or [email protected] to schedule your consultation.
